You know those stories about the first movie-going audiences in the 1910s, who were so quaint and dazzled by film they thought the image of a train speeding toward them would break through the projected screen and kill them?
That’s Vine. Vine's still the Wild Wild West, both in the new territory sense and the shitty Will Smith movie sense. It’s bad. We’re bad. We can’t edit, we can't undo and don’t know really even know what to do with the 7 seconds in the first place. As a result, most of it pretty much sucks.
But not all. As an article in The 511 observed in February,
“Content is still king, but creativity has become the prince…the quality of your content is fueled by the distinctiveness of your creativity. And the less you have to work with, the more creative you’re forced to be. In other words, constraints drive creativity.”
So, in the midst of the awkward “wokka-wokka” sideshow, true creatives get a rare chance to shine. It just takes some effort, some composition, some craft.
To which I say, um...no thank you?
Enter Instagram Video. With Instagram Video we can edit all we want. We can film 15 self-indulgent seconds. And we can do it with filters.
Why? Because I'm a Millennial. I want the nostalgia of Grandma’s shoebox photos, without the shoebox and without Grandma. I want the most meaning on the longest dollar in the shortest amount of time. Anything that smacks of effort, composition or living a real life can be shoved right up its boring, no-filtered “in-person” ass. (I’m supposed to just “create” interesting moments? Without Brennan?)
Here’s what Millennials like:
-faux-50s rockabilly bullshit (aka Modcloth)
-$30 T-shirts which prove we know who the Cories were
-The theme song from the Wonder Years
Here’s what we don’t like:
-Not being tagged
-Anyone in our physical presence
Don’t even get me started on Tumblr. Who do I have to snapchat to get an Insightful filter up in here?
I’m a Millennial. I want an animated vintage selfie and I want it right fucking now. Then I want to look at it 20 minutes and shed a tear for the lost days of youth.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some hashtag yolo-ing to do. In Hefe. Don't wait up.