10 overheard remarks that make you certain that the people sitting next to you are toolish nyu undergrads

Note: these sins of public representation are particularly egregious because these tools actually think they are smart. Actually, it kind of reminds me of Orientation Week at Swarthmore.

On international relations: "This guy in my class is from Mumbai and his parents were killed right in front of him! Isn't that horrible?"

On interpretation theory: The great thing about New York is that you have the opportunity to reinvent ... everything."

On finance: "I've already spent, like, half the money my parents gave me and it's only the first week of the semester!"

On finance: "You could sell your clothes at the Buff." (They can't be bothered to say Buffalo Exchange).

On finance: "Oh, *no.* That. Would. Suck."

On contrived tangents: "I speak three languages."

On romance: "So, who are you into?"

On romance: "We made out, but it's not like we're dating or anything."

On romance: "He's the cutest guy in the dorm, though."

On perspective: "I just want college to be over so I can get on with the rest of my life!"

NYU, ladies and gentlemen. I would tell you to patronize Greenwich Village coffee shops at your own risk, but while I'm in New York I am perfectly content to drink the Kool-aid and confirm that these 18-year-olds are every bit as important as they think they are.