5. A reporter at Obama's press conference who is really, really nervous. At his press conference introducing the new Chief Performance Officer Nancy Killefer, a starstruck journalist breathlessly asked Obama a question. Apparently, Chuck Todd is the Senior White House Correspondent at MSNBC, but he seemed to lose his bearings within the presence of President Beefcake. In this clip you can't see how fluttery he is, but you can hear him rustling papers for about 10 minutes. It was all very Elvis on Ed Sullivan. Maybe they should have just shown Obama from the waist up.
4. Reporters break the news on Oprah and how she's apparently fat. Despite my making fun yesterday, I do love Oprah. Remember -- it isn't her fault that her gaining 40 pounds is bigger news than war atrocities in the Middle East.
3. The cast of Real World: Brooklyn demonstrates how many ways to hump a flight of stairs.Another gold mine from my Editorial Image Correspondent Adam M. What will happen when the Mormon finds out about the Transsexual? What will happen when the Transsexual finds out about the Mormon? Not that it's contrived or anything. At least they can all come together under a mutual sexual attraction for stairs.
2. Lou Dobbs politely negotiates Ann Coulter when she's clearly making him really, really uncomfortable. Oh, Ann Coulter. You truly are a psycho bitch. But you are not in control anymore. You are dogmatic and angry. And you look like a carnivorous hawk.
1. CNN's Rick Sanchez's fake, saccharine anguish over the Israeli-Gaza conflict. If I could go one day without one of Rick Sanchez's smirking platitudes, I'd be a happy girl. But as long as children in Gaza are suffering, Sanchez will wax sorrowful on their behalf ("fathers slashing their children for *God*.......they need to understand that isn't. What. God. Is.") Note to Rick: when you name your segment "What's God Got to Do with It?" it kinda loses its poignancy.
P.S -- I just read in the news that hackers broke in to Rick Sanchez's Twitter account, and for several hours his status read, "I'm high on crack right now and might not come to work."
Whatever floats your boat, Rick. As long as it's for the children.