Gossip Girl: The College Years

Enough with the pedophiles, guys. Let's talk about Gossip Girl. 

Let me bring you up to date on what's been happening so far.  Dan's stalker/secret half-brother Scott is pretending to be a student at NYU.  (Scott told his parents he was at school in Oregon. Naturally, in 2009, his parents have no way of checking.)  Nate has spun off into his own little series that I like to call "Hot and Boring Nate."  Meanwhile, Lily and Little J have vanished, possibly never to be seen again. 

Correction: Little J did show herself for about 90 seconds before returning to her corner on Hollywood Boulevard. 

Also, Blair has a roommate. It's that girl who used to be Harriet the Spy but is now just vaguely evil.

Here are the things I love so far about Gossip Girl: The College Years:

In real life, walking around with your own uniformed french maid would turn a few heads.
In Gossip Girl life it also turns heads, but mostly everyone's just really excited to be extras on the show Gossip Girl.

In real life, the chances of running into your friends at a university with 50,000 students is slim to none.
In Gossip Girl life, you all end up on the same hall.

In real life, people who get into Brown go to Brown.
In Gossip Girl life, people who get into Brown have to contrive a way to defer admission and not make eye contact with anyone beyond their six closest friends.  At least not until November Sweeps.

Also, is anyone else happy that Dan is finally being acknowledged as the objective catch he is?  I don't care how many times he plays the 'scrappy Brooklyn Underdog.'  He's an 18-year-old published author with a six pack. 

And Gossip Girl herself continues to dazzle with her firm command of language.  Take her sly, "I hope everyone's policies are played up....'cause we're on a collision course."

Someone tell me: does Gossip Girl even attend classes?  I don't think anyone who spent the entirety of high school stalking can place out of Freshman-level English. 

At the end of the episode, Scott decided to break up with Vanessa and return to Boston.  It was a poignant end to a romance no one actually cared about.

So, lots of Darota, lots of gratuitous high-definition shots of gourmet sushi, and zero explanation as to why four random freshmen suddenly dominate NYU's social scene make for a great third season. 

You still have to wonder where Lily is, though.  She must just be with Gossip Girl getting an "MBA in deviant behavior."