I'm not saying that Gossip Girl is the most important issue facing this country. But Gossip Girl is the most important issue facing this country. Seriously -- I am way, way more upset about Taylor Momson's fake bronzer tan than I could ever be about healthcare.
Then there was the story arc that was so bad it's beyond words -- except two words: Hillary Duff. For those of you who don't know, watching Hillary Duff play herself is almost as bad as watching Julia Stiles play someone. Throw in Taylor Momson and you actually have the blonde acting Village of the Damned.
So Gossip Girl hasn't been that great lately. But just when I was reconsidering my belief that Josh Schwartz is the smartest, most enlightened storyteller of our generation, he redeemed himself through two far less terrifying words: November Sweeps.
Personally, my requests for November Sweeps are simple. I merely ask for a contrived sudden romance, a "secret from the past," and that every character somehow show up at the same Thanksgiving Dinner.
If you think Thanksgiving is about family, you are wrong. Thanksgiving is about spending slightly more time with the only 8 people you ever talk to.
Amazingly, only Gossip Girl had the courage to say, "Fuck you, logic. We are going to have something huge happen to every single character. Even if makes no sense!" That being said:
-Nate suddenly develops feelings for Serena.
-Dan suddenly develops feelings for Vanessa (and is informed of this feelings by Vanessa's creepily bug-eyed mom).
-Speaking of Dan, don't you hate it when the girl you had your first threesome with is in love with your secret half-brother?
-Serena runs off with a 35-year-old congressman.
-Taylor Momson discovers that her stepbrother has secretly hated her since episode 003! Josh Schwartz gets extra points for referring to an event that no one remembers.
-Lily Bart wasn't just having a real-life baby. She was having an on-TV affair! As an aside, this is exactly what happened to her OC-doppelganger, Kirsten. But you know how Kiki gets.
And last, but absolutely the opposite of least: Doroda is pregnant!
And that is why Josh Schwartz is a genius. Not because Eleanor Waldorf is moving to Paris. Not because Jenny is whoring herself to a Belgian Prince. But because Blair's Russian maid having a baby and they haven't even served the pumpkin pie. That, people, is November Sweeps done right.