Actually, I truly love that movie and would never refer to it as 'Sucky' Gilmore. I would call it "'Crappy' Gilmore!" Shhha-wiiiiiiiing! Ohhhh, yeah. She fakes left. She fakes right. She scores!
Basically, this is a really long-winded way of saying that Seventeen Again sucked. Alot.
To demonstrate this, I'm going to borrow New York Magazine's plus/minus system for grading episodes of Gossip Girl.
- Story opens during a high school basketball game and the cheerleaders are dancing to some awesome old school rap song. Plus 3
- Zac Efron suddenly jumps in and starts dancing with them, which doesn't really make sense in a non-High School Musical film. But it's awesome anyway. Plus 5.
- Matthew Perry looking beaten down by life. Plus 5.
- Margaret Cho as the sex ed teacher! Awesome. Plus 3.
- That girl from Buffy and Gossip Girl who always seems kind of evil but totally rocks. Plus 6.
- Another film, another muse/spirit guide who likes to work as a janitor. Minus 6.
- Okay...so they keep in all 11 minutes of a really unfunny fight scene between Mike and Ned but have no "before and after" fashion montages???? No Zac Efron trying to figure out what young people wear in 2009? No twirling in front of the department store mirror to Fergie's "Glamorous?" Minus 13. This is completely unforgivable.
- Irreconciable selective logic. So....Mike's son needs to "tap" the head cheerleader....but Mike's daughter is morally bankrupt for tappin' some basketball player ass. Minus 9.
- "How are you going to expect your boyfriends to respect you if you can't respect yourself? This paternalistic moment and others are brought to you by Seventeen Again. Minus 7.
- The Lord of the Rings sub-plot was cute for exactly four seconds. Minus 5.
- I am extremely uncomfortable with this whole "I love that cute new boy at school! And I don't know he's my Dad!" subplot. Minus 10.